The Blog

A True Work Of Heart

Acts without kindness of heart are empty, and often incredibly challenging. In the early days of my treatment and recovery from an eating disorder, I struggled. A lot! Only in retrospect can I see how much fear, anger, and rage I held within. This is what, I believe, made recovery so difficult for me. You see, from the heart, actions flow. But I didn’t know it at the time. I had separated emotion and behavior. I hadn’t understood that they were part of a chain reaction and that one was tied to the other. My eating disorder behaviors Read More

The Opportunity In Overwhelm

Recovery can be liberating and freeing. It can be beautiful and joyful. It can also be painful and scary, frustrating and depressing. In the times of beauty and joy, you feel strong and able. Things feel do-able, goals feel achievable. But, when you feel frightened or hurt, the vision for a brighter future goes out the window and becomes a distant dream that feels like it will never materialize. In my own recovery journey, I’ve experienced many periods of cycling through the good and bad, alternating between seeing myself as both a power woman and a powerless, incapable Read More

The Mighty Seed Of Acceptance

Be thankful. Write down what you’re grateful for. Start a gratitude journal. All well-meaning advice, for sure, but these are just actions. Actions are empty without feeling, and while I believe everyone contains the potential to feel, and feel very deeply, not everyone has such easy access to the warm and fuzzies that actions of gratitude are expected to bring. This eventually leads to a practice in futility and frustration. While in the very early stages of eating disorder recovery, I couldn’t feel gratitude. I could think it and I knew what I should be grateful for. I Read More

Making Friends With The Enemy

There is a suggested strategy of talking back to your eating disorder when it speaks to you harshly. When it tells you you’re worthless or fat, you fight back. Instead of submissively agreeing with it, you stand up against it and say, “No, I’m not. I’m perfect just the way I am. I deserve to eat. You don’t control me.” I’ve tried this strategy but it’s never felt like a good one to me. From the e-book, understanding, by kristen elliott The above is an excerpt from my e-book in which I discuss why I abandoned the strategy Read More

The World Is What You Think It Is

The most fundamental principle of Huna is that “the world is what you think it is,” that you create your own personal experience of reality by your beliefs, interpretations, actions, reactions, thoughts, and feelings. When I first began studying Huna, I took this to mean that I created my own eating disorder and depression. And, that if I truly wanted to, I could think my way out of it, just by changing my thoughts. It wasn’t that easy though. I changed my thoughts and was even able to change my behavior for a period of time, but it Read More