The Blog

Be The Witness, Not The Judge

The Body Is the Feeler of Emotions and Sensations. The Mind Is the Thinker of Thoughts. The Witness Is the Observer of All. ~ Sensei Shane Phelps What does this have to do with eating disorder recovery? Lots, I think! When you enter into the process of recovery, which in my mind means the moment you recognize some discomfort and have a desire to walk away from it, you detach yourself from one thing and begin to attach yourself to another. It can be an incredibly painful process. It can also be scary as hell. It’s sort of Read More

When It’s Easy, It’s Easy…But What About When It’s Hard?

Someone recently posted a question to a group of people with eating disorders: On a scale from 1-10, how badly do you want recovery? The answers ranged from 0 to 1,000,000. Many answers stated that it depended on the day. And that’s the part I find particularly fascinating… In my own recovery, I certainly cycled through periods of wanting recovery so badly I would do anything for it. On other days, I resigned myself to accepting the fate without hope. On those days, I just didn’t have it in me. What was interesting to me, and I began Read More

A True Work Of Heart

Acts without kindness of heart are empty, and often incredibly challenging. In the early days of my treatment and recovery from an eating disorder, I struggled. A lot! Only in retrospect can I see how much fear, anger, and rage I held within. This is what, I believe, made recovery so difficult for me. You see, from the heart, actions flow. But I didn’t know it at the time. I had separated emotion and behavior. I hadn’t understood that they were part of a chain reaction and that one was tied to the other. My eating disorder behaviors Read More

The Opportunity In Overwhelm

Recovery can be liberating and freeing. It can be beautiful and joyful. It can also be painful and scary, frustrating and depressing. In the times of beauty and joy, you feel strong and able. Things feel do-able, goals feel achievable. But, when you feel frightened or hurt, the vision for a brighter future goes out the window and becomes a distant dream that feels like it will never materialize. In my own recovery journey, I’ve experienced many periods of cycling through the good and bad, alternating between seeing myself as both a power woman and a powerless, incapable Read More

The Mighty Seed Of Acceptance

Be thankful. Write down what you’re grateful for. Start a gratitude journal. All well-meaning advice, for sure, but these are just actions. Actions are empty without feeling, and while I believe everyone contains the potential to feel, and feel very deeply, not everyone has such easy access to the warm and fuzzies that actions of gratitude are expected to bring. This eventually leads to a practice in futility and frustration. While in the very early stages of eating disorder recovery, I couldn’t feel gratitude. I could think it and I knew what I should be grateful for. I Read More