This was a bad word in the times when I grew up. It means to be excessively concerned with material possessions, to be money-oriented.
It was bad to be material-oriented.
I wanted to be good. I wanted to be good. I wanted to be good.
The intention behind the lesson was well-meaning but it was received in error. Little did anyone know, let alone myself, that my brain didn’t have a channel of gray connecting black and white. It only understood extremes. Good and bad. Yes and no. Right and wrong.
My brain’s receiver had access to two stations, and two stations only. I couldn’t even conceive of anything in between.
A big part of my recovery process has been to purposely step into the gray areas, of being open to the possibility of more.
One practice has been that of gratitude for material things. In the beginning, it made my insides squirm, made me feel sick to my stomach. Yet, over time and with practice, I’ve come to recognize something incredibly important…
By denying a feeling of gratitude for material possessions, I was cutting myself off from my own source of gratitude, from feeling anything at all.
Gratitude for a pair of shoes isn’t less worthy than gratitude for God. Gratitude is gratitude!
In order to access it, I began allowing myself to feel grateful for the goods as much as I am for God.
It’s okay to allow yourself to feel grateful for ALL things.
I’d love to hear from you! If you have any questions you can drop them in the comments or email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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