Eating disorder recovery can feel messy. It can even feel hopeless at times. Harnessing the power of emotion can help!
Have you had a hard time finding comfort in your body after eating disorder recovery? Has the continuing discomfort caused you to rethink recovery? Are you concerned you don’t have the motivation to maintain your recovery?
If so, you’re not alone!
About a year after I had left treatment for my eating disorder, I still found it incredibly difficult to be in my own skin. Everything felt heavy. I often felt like I was suffocating. It was painful, not only emotionally, but physically as well. I couldn’t stand it and I began to look for ways to curb the extreme discomfort.
Two Steps Back Into Relapse
You know what I did? I turned back to my body as the source of blame. I relapsed.
When the relapse began I kept telling myself that it was one last time, that it wouldn’t last. But, months down the road, I was still at it.
Eventually, I got myself back into counselling with my psychologist and got back on track. However, I still wanted to understand why I had relapsed . I wondered that since it had happened once, what was to say it wouldn’t happen again?
Finding My Emotional Self
It was around this time that I joined a mindfulness meditation group and began exploring the wonderful world of energy and emotion. It was pretty woo-woo stuff for me at the time but something in my blood tingled with hope. I kept at it.
I really started to understand the power of emotion and how, if I wanted to move beyond the eating disorder for good, to transcend the traumas that kept me locked in its grips, I would have to tend to my emotional self.
Why? Because the physical pains I was feeling weren’t the cause of my misery. The physical symptoms of discomfort and pain were the outer effects of an inner distress. I would never be able to be free of the discomfort I felt in my body until the emotional discomfort was acknowledged and cared for.
I was willing to try this alternate path of tending to my emotions because I didn’t feel that constantly fighting for recovery through the act of gritty self-discipline for the rest of my life was a sustainable option.
The Power of Emotion
And so began an inward journey that led me to focusing on my own emotions to help me find healing.
I found the emotional focus to be such a powerful and complementary approach to my recovery. Especially when combined with the structure that traditional treatment had provided me. This was because I was able to grow in my own understanding of myself, build a connection between mind and body, and find my own internal navigation system, one that I don’t ever question or doubt.
I have far more trust in the process of life and in myself than I ever have before and I do believe that for anyone willing to turn inward, to question the status quo, great peace awaits. The power of emotion is strong!
If this has piqued your curiosity, please join me over the next three weeks as I share some of my own story about how delving into my emotional nature has helped me find myself and find freedom from my own eating disorder.
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