Do you feel uncomfortable in your own skin? Do you feel like somehow you’re just not home? Does it feel like you’re lost, in a foreign city, and no one is speaking your language?
I used to feel like this.
What did I do? Well, at first I read magazines and books, followed the news, and watched TV and movies. I looked for direction from the world at large. What I learned is that apparently the answer to feeling good was to eat well.
So, I worked on eating good, eating normally. And yet, no matter how hard I tried, I always just ended up feeling more distant and out of control.
I was exasperated. I just wanted to eat normally. But I always ended up having to fight off urges and white-knuckle my way through evening down times. Sometimes I succeeded. Often I did not.
And, the more often I failed, the worse I felt about myself. And eventually, the more I began to believe that I was inadequate, not strong enough, weak-willed.
I have since learned that the world at large was wrong. Is wrong. And I have found my way home on my own. It wasn’t through diet or exercise either, but through repairing a relationship with the core of who I was and with my body.
Once I had that foundation, I was able to implement the other changes in my life that I wanted to make in terms of health and nutrition.
And, if I could go back and talk to myself in the early days of all of that, I would say:
My Dear, There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are an absolute marvel. And while your diet could use a bit of well-guided direction, your perceived inability to control yourself has nothing to do with you. Come. I want to show you who you think you are. And then I want to show you who you really are. You’ll be afraid to let go at first, and that’s normal, but with time and patience and my unwavering support and belief in you, you will happily begin to embody the magnificence of who you are. And when you do, stepping out into the world and making changes to how you’re currently living will feel less daunting, less scary, less impossible. You’ll want to make changes because you know you deserve far more.
Why would I say that? Because I know it’s true. It is possible to go from disordered eating and feeling uncomfortable in your own skin to feeling confident, comfortable, and in control of who you are.
Drop me a comment below and let me know what you think about this. Do you believe it’s possible? Are you there now or still learning? If you’re still learning, do you need some support or direction? In what way?